Over the past year I have become less afraid to talk about the anxiety I experience. I opened up to family and friends. I even created artworks about it and shared a little bit about it online. However, one of my goals for this year is to dive deeper. No more dancing around tough subjects. No more being afraid to create from a dark place. Be honest.
I found that when I try to explain anxiety, what it does and what it feels like, to people who have never experienced it…I can’t fully help them understand what its like. I have had many conversations with my husband about it because he wants to understand, but I’m never able to fully explain it with words. That’s when I had the idea to make this series. Since my words were falling short, I wanted to visually show what happens, at least to me, in my mind with anxiety.
This absolutely freaked me out, which is why I knew I had to pursue it. I’m creating from an extremely vulnerable place. One I know many people can relate to.
I chose to build a room made of three walls to represent the inside of my mind. I feel that over the years anxiety has broken me down. For this reasons I made the room messy, dark and cracked.
Anxiety effects the mind, from my thoughts to what I physically feel. It makes me think/feel that something bad is happening. That I should be afraid. While my heart races and my chest becomes heavy…deep down I know that what I am feeling isn’t real. I’m in no real danger despite how my body is reacting. For this reason I wanted each photo to have a surreal feel.
If you would like to read more about this series you can head over to my blog where I will go into more detail about each photo and include some behind the scenes images.